Making Friends After College

All of my best friends are ones I made in college, when time, structure, and proximity allowed for easy friend-making. Maintaining those friendships after college has been slightly challenging as one of those components is invariably missing (in my case, proximity), but with care, effort, and mutual understanding, you make it work. In some ways, those friendships even strengthened and deepened during those formative after-college years. 

Making new friends after college or later in life is a whole other ballgame. “You meet people, but they just don’t have that thing.” One of those friends and I were chatting one time about this, and it was like she found the latent idea in my mind and articulated it to me in the exact concise way I couldn’t (why she is one of my best friends). 

I can count a handful of friends I've made after college who I would consider friends, the stay-in-touch-while-I'm-abroad-type, so I'm batting at about one per year. All are ones I made at work, which is a good place to start as you already have something in common. Transitioning from colleagues to friends takes time, especially if you have a work 'poker face' (I do), but if you identify someone you vibe with, let your guard down, and put yourself out there, the return can be rewarding!

Two weekends ago, I had a girls night with three colleagues, and last Friday, a colleague-turned-friend and I spent the late afternoon and evening getting our nails done, chatting about work over good food, walking around the city, and (mostly) window shopping. It ended up being one of the most fun nights I've had in Seoul. 

It might be harder to find someone who has that thing, but start with the day-to-day thing and see where it takes you. (And if this made sense to you, leave a comment--we might have that thing, too. :)